Autumn Leaves-Part 1

While I AM a summer lover, the one thing I like about fall is all of the vivid color. It can be stunning. God paints with a loaded brush. Despite the broad patches of color around the countryside lately, I seemed to have focused more on single leaves this season, which you'll notice in tomorrow's batch of photos. I'm not sure why, but I guess it doesn't matter. I'm always amazed at how quickly autumn passes, but perhaps that's why we appreciate it so much.

I Do

As I was editing wedding photos recently I couldn’t help but think a lot about marriage and how it evolves after those newlywed years. It really takes on a life of its own, doesn’t it? Couples’ counseling prior to the wedding is popular these days, especially within some religious denominations, but frankly there is some stuff counseling just can’t prepare you for. There are some things that aren’t discussed prior to marriage because it’s a lot like childbirth in that if we knew all there is to know about it, we probably wouldn’t ever do it. We’d just die off instead of procreating if we knew in advance about mucus plugs and episiotomies. One of the most astonishing things about childbirth for me was the morning after when the nurse came in, rolled my exhausted arse over and said cheerily, “Let’s check you for hemorrhoids.” “Holy crap! Hemorrhoids?” I practically yelled. Somehow I had missed that chapter in all of my What to Expect When You’re Expecting reading. Fortunately, I passed the test with flying colors, but it certainly would have made pregnancy less appealing had I known about that and that whole mucus plug thing in advance. Same goes for marriage. We would certainly give it more consideration if we knew all the unwritten rules in advance. There are a lot of things you do in marriage that you don’t say “I do” to at the wedding.

For instance, in heterosexual marriages the husband always drives the oldest vehicle in the driveway. The wife is supposed to have the “dependable” transportation, presumably because she’s less inclined to know how to jumpstart the thing if it dies in traffic. This rule seems to be a holdover during those sexist times prior to the invention of cell phones. These days, my plan for car trouble is to walk to the nearest coffee shop and call Triple AAA, but I still adhere to the wife gets the good car rule because it works to my advantage. Hubby is driving a 1983 pick-up truck.
Also, if the loaf of bread is nearly gone, the husband gets the sandwich with the heel. He must also eat any scraps left on the children’s plates. Eventually, he will get so used to it that he actually thinks he prefers the heels AND every meal ends with him asking, “Are you going to eat that?”

Men are also always supposed to lie about the size of their wife’s backside. Hubby adheres to this one religiously. It’s the only thing he’s allowed to lie to me about. If my fanny gets to be the size of Mount Rushmore he is still supposed to say “no” when I ask if those pants make my butt look big. Some men never learn this rule. They’re called divorcees.

Personally, I’ve always thought the best pre-wedding test for marriage readiness is the flu. You shouldn’t get married to someone unless you and your finance have suffered through the flu together. I don’t mean a runny nose cold. I mean a full blown case of the lie in the floor and ask for last rites flu. If a man will clean up your vomit, check on you every hour to make sure you haven’t expired and bring you toilet paper when the diarrhea kicks in unexpectedly, he’s a keeper. If he won’t ladies, run like you have the trots. And if you’re not willing to bring him toilet paper if he’s the sick one then you are not ready to share your life with him.

In fact, the bathroom in itself is kind of a benchmark for relationships. You can often tell how long a couple has been married by the state of the door when one of them is using the potty. If it’s closed, they’re newlyweds. If they shout through a partially closed door, they’ve been married approximately three to five years. If they will have a fifteen minute conversation about paint colors while one sits on the edge of the tub clipping her toenails and the other stinks up the joint, they’ve passed their tenth anniversary. Prior to the wedding you can’t imagine that happening, but when you spend a lot of time under one roof together you eventually have to do number two and pass gas in the presence of your spouse. One day you just get tired of holding it in. Besides, it’s a little like bungee jumping. Once you’ve done it the first time, it’s not so intimidating anymore.

In fact, marriage as a whole is a lot like bungee jumping. It can be crazy wild and downright scary. Sometimes, you feel like you’re flying blindly. Other times you just want to surrender. It can be terrifying and wonderful all at the same time. My advice to newlyweds? Don’t worry so much about the rules; just hang on for dear life. And don’t worry about the bathroom door. There are aspects of marriage that are a whole lot scarier than seeing your partner on the pot.

I Rocked The Vote

I think I’m going to have to start a new regular feature here at ye old blog called “Catch Up Tuesday”. It will contain all of the tidbits I don’t seem to have time to blog about on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Whew! I want to know who cranked up the crazy control button at the Hula-gen household. If I catch him he’s gonna get thirty lashes with a wet dishrag. It’s back to bullet points while I try to get some things under control.

-The construction project is going well. The framing of the garage is up, and we have a hole in the yard with water. The concrete is poured and one of these days I’m going to write about how wonderful stamped concrete is. As long as you don’t walk on it while it’s wet with sealer. Not that anyone around this house would do something that foolish. I’m tired of pouring concrete since it’s like watching money slide right down that shoot, and the poor dog next door is going to have a nervous breakdown if we don’t get the concrete trucks out of our yard soon.

-I found this bee around the house this weekend. It was a little too big to swat, so I let it go.

-Get ready to be worn out with fall photos.

I spent a full day taking autumn pictures last week. Hubby and I traveled about an hour south of here to a large recreational area where we traipsed around lakes, woods and even a few buffalo. I could not stop taking photos, and you’re about to see them all. As soon as I get around to editing them. It was great to spend some time with Hubby without the world bombarding us with phone calls and demands. Initially, I did have to threaten to throw his phone into the lake before he realized how tethered he was to the dang thing. Shortly after that, we ran into an area where cell service was nil, so it prevented me from drowning the phone AND him.

-I did the studio shots of Teen Angel’s senior pictures and had two paying jobs last week. All went well, but great Gertie, it is tough getting a family of two adults, a three year old, a one year old and a dog to all look in the same direction, not blink and smile at the same time. It’s right up there with standing on your head on a high wire above Times Square. It was a blast though, they were a great family and now I have 976,000 photos to edit.

-Last night Papa T. declared my beef soup the best he’d ever eaten. Mama J. reminded him that it was beef stew. He said he could call it beef soup if he wanted to, dammit. Bottom line…I found something else with protein and vegetables that he will eat. That one’s a keeper. Tomorrow night I’m going to try to sneak asparagus by him.

-I have now purchased two Christmas presents and am in the process of creating two more that will involve an online order when I’m finished with my part. Best of all? I know exactly what I’m getting my parents and Hubby’s parents. That is the hardest part about Christmas shopping for me, so I’m terribly excited about this. We’ll not discuss how annoyed I am that ONCE AGAIN Mama J. is finished with hers nearly two months early. I want to be like that. I just can’t. I just can’t Christmas shop while wearing short sleeves.

-Our schnauzer, Jumpin’ Jack Flash, had some skin tags and cysts removed last week. I’m relieved none of them was cancerous. However, I needed a Valium when I saw the vet bill. The little stinker ripped open one of his wounds last night and had to have four more stitches this morning. I swear, it’s like having another kid. As I was dabbing Neosporin on his wound and covering it with a bandage last night I couldn’t help but think back to when I was a kid and we just let our dogs lick themselves back to health whenever they got hurt. We also fed them scraps with meat bones and they lived to a ripe old age. Sometimes, I wonder if we worry way too much about animal care.

-I want the world to know that most Kentuckians are not proud of the way the U.S. Senate campaign has gone in this state in recent months. All eyes have been on us since this is an important seat up for grabs, and most of those eyes are probably squinting over the crazy negative ads and the candidates’ claims. I was fortunate enough to hear both of them live in debate a few weeks ago, and I can confirm what most of you are probably thinking…that we should just start over with new candidates. One slings mud and slants the facts, and the other speaks in patriotic generalities while shirking details of his Libertarian plans for improving things in DC. I proudly voted this morning, but I stood there forever hoping a third candidate had magically appeared on the ballot overnight and would save me from choosing “between two evils”. I finally made a choice, but it hurt filling in that blank. Please don’t judge Kentuckians by the likes of Jack Conway and Rand Paul. The one encouraging thing about this election? My soon to be 18-year old last night declared that this would be the last election where she had to sit on the sidelines. That made my heart proud. Let’s just hope there’s someone she can be proud to vote for next May.

Photo Friday-"Fluffy"

For the other entries go here.

Peek-A-Boo, I See You

The day I shot wedding pictures we started at the beauty shop. One half of the shop was bustling with a bevy of young beauties getting ready for the wedding while the other half was filled with elderly ladies getting their weekly wash and set. I noticed one lady who kept stealing glances at the young women and trying not to be seen doing it. What she didn't know is that I was stealing pictures of her without trying to let her see me. I figure we both got what we wanted.

Movin' Along

I write what’s on my mind, so it seems like whenever I get to the middle of each new week my fingers have the urge to tap out how busy the week is and how fast the world keeps spinning. And then I remember that I wrote about that the previous week, and the week before that. And then I wonder what on earth I’m going to put down on cyber paper instead because all I know right now is “busy”. And fast. And warp speed time. Halloween is this weekend for Pete’s sake. And soon to follow that is Thanksgiving, and great Gertie, Christmas in only a few weeks away! However, I CAN report that I have purchased one Christmas gift already, so my goal of starting my Christmas shopping before mid-December for a change has been met. Pass me a celebratory margarita, please. And some Halloween candy.

Life keeps marching forward in a quick step for the Hula-gen’s so instead of trying to form some sort of cohesive post with a beginning, middle and tidy summary, I’ll just spit out some tidbits for you.

1. We haven’t had rain in western Kentucky in months. It is no exaggeration to say that the rain we’ve accumulated this summer could fit into a teacup. We’ve had sunshine every day since May. The people of this community can thank the Hula-gen’s for the downpour we had yesterday as it was the day we had planned to pour concrete at our house. Once again, God is teaching me a lesson in patience.

2. Daily, we get the wild idea to get into the pool as soon as we get this concrete finished, and then we stick our toe in it and feel the 59 degree water.

3. A photographer friend of mine set up his studio lights and helped me to shoot the studio portion of Teen Angel’s senior pictures last night. It was great fun but quite the workout. He made me shoot everything on manual and work through the things I didn’t know. He is an excellent teacher, and I’m very grateful, but it felt kind of like when the gym trainer makes you do those extra fifty sit-ups you’d rather not do since your abs are already burning. He was all aperture, shutter speed and custom white balance, and boy, was my head tired when we finished. Ask me where that aperture button is today. Just ask me. I dare ya’.

4. Teen Angel has a new beau. That thud I just heard was the sound of all of you parents with teenagers who just dropped to your knees to pray for me. Thank you.

5. I finished editing wedding pictures today and will nervously hand those over to the bride later this week. Ooh, it makes me nervous to share my work with others in such a personal way. I now have to start editing some senior pictures I shot for a girl last weekend and prepare for a shoot Saturday morning involving a three year old and a one year old. I’ll get to see just how fast I can move and shoot Saturday. This is all pushing me out of my comfort zone in a good way and inching me closer to that $2,300 lens I want. Nikon 70-200mm here I come!

6. I love learning new things as I get older. Have I said that lately? I really do. It makes me feel not so old.

7. Hubby is totally engrossed in picking out stuff for his man cave. We’ve had more conversations about paint colors in the last two weeks than we’ve had our entire marriage. He was also watching Steel Magnolias by himself last night when I got home. Maybe we should dress HIM as Dolly next Halloween.

8. I’m taking two vacation days this week and spending one whole day shooting fall foliage in the local wildlife areas. I can’t wait. Hubby is going along so the bogey man won’t get me in the wild woolly woods. I don’t know what he’s worried about. I could kill someone with these boney elbows of mine. Nevertheless, it should be a nice day together as long as he remembers to refrain from asking, “Why are you shooting THAT?” We had that discussion earlier this week when he walked in the door and found me shooting pictures of the foam on top of the tea pitcher. He may be in touch with his feminine side, but he knows nothing about photography textures. Or that bag of Halloween candy I have hidden in the kitchen.

Hula-gen Family Fun Fact #81

Each year the Hula-gen's like to attend an adult costume party hosted by their friends, but as Teen Angel pointed out Saturday night my enthusiasm for the costume aspect of it is a little stronger than Hubby's.

Teen Angel wouldn't let me answer the door when the pizza man arrived Saturday, and Hubby volunteered to go into the convenience store to pay for the ice instead of letting me go in there. I think he was embarrassed by my um.....wig. For the record, I had a "large" time.