Freeze Frame

You know, a surprise is around every corner when you have teenagers. Whenever I start downloading pictures from the camera I often find myself picturing Forrest Gump and his box of chocolates because ya' just never know what you're gonna' get. I expect the Washington Monument, I get this.Or street shots from Washington, D.C. and I find this.

How about that baby giraffe at the zoo? Nope. Just this.

That beautiful view from the patio of our rental house in Florida?

Or a family picture from our shopping trip to Nashville?

And I'm really not sure where this came from.The mind of a fifteen year old is a vacation destination of its own.

I love it when I open up Outlook the first thing in the morning and

have to dash to the bathroom to check and see if I'm wearing "good" underwear because my calendar says this:

11:45am-appointment at gynocologist/followed by mammogram

Note to self: Throw away panties with the rip in the waisteband, soak white bra in bleach and replace that six year old slip.

Name That Tune

My soul sister Debbie, who resides in that exotic part of the world I like to call Japan, posted a meme the other day featuring her iPod, and I thought it was a hoot, so I tried it. It was more fun than a barrel of monkeys. It essentially works like this:

Instructions:
1. Open your music library (iTunes, winamp, media player, iPod, whatever)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question below, type the song that’s playing
5. New question — press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool

Some of my songs seemed to fit perfectly, and my responses are below, but first I feel compelled to talk about the iPod. Do you mind? Of course not. That’s what I love about you dear readers, you politely listen while I ramble at length about nothing in particular, and you come back the next day for more. You do come back, don’t you? Hello? Anyone home? Whew. For a moment I thought I had lost you.

I love my iPod. Really, I do. The Pod and I have a great relationship. My iPod not a big fancy one like Teen Angel’s. Mine’s just a Nano, but I carry it around as much as Teen Angel carries hers. It goes everywhere with me, all 826 songs. (It will hold 1000.) I can have a large portion of my music collection at my fingertips at all times. I use it in the car instead of the radio. I wear it while I’m running, and I play it in the docking station on my desk at work. I have to resist the urge to turn down the docking station, though. It’s not really professional to blast D*** I Wish I Was Your Lover or Push It throughout the administration wing. I love that I can create playlists that are tailored to my runs. David Crowder’s version of I Saw The Light ALWAYS makes me go faster. I can customize the music for my aerobics class, and keep Christmas music in there so I can pull up Wynona’s version of Mary Did You Know in the middle of August. I think one of the reasons I like it best is that it puts great memories at my fingertips. If I’m feeling nostalgic I can spin the wheel, pull up a little Rod Stewart and suddenly I’m in eighth grade dishing with my best buddy E. all over again. I can play Eric Clapton’s Cocaine and be reminded of senior prom..circa 1982. Happy Together by the Turtles takes me back to cruising with friends around town, and Vangelis’ version of Hymne has me walking down the aisle to my groom again just like in 1990. That little black gizmo has the power to make me laugh, make me cry and make me smile, all in one playlist. It’s a hormonal woman’s dream.

My iPod has an eclectic mix of songs, hence some of the answers below. I love all kinds of music which is why inside my iPod Amy Grant resides next to Amy Winehouse. Iggy Pop’s Real Wild Child is next to the theme from The Color Purple, and the Reverend James Cleveland’s Get Right Church (also good to run to) sits beside Rick James’ Super Freak. Sorry, Reverend James, but my preacher says you gotta go where the sinners are to reach them. Not that I’m trying to justify some of the nasty songs on my little jukebox or anything. My playlists run the gamut from Running #1, #2 and #3 to Slow Favorites, Treadmill #1,#2,#3,#4, Favorite Oldies and Sizzling Hits. What’s on Sizzling Hits, you ask? Hmm, you’re a nosey bunch today, aren’t you? It includes Let’s Get It On, Do You Want to Touch Me and You Shook me All Night Long among others. Hey, you asked.

I wasn’t much of a shuffle song girl until recently. Since I’m a bit of a control freak I tend to rely on the playlists and specific song selections. However, lately I’ve started to walk on the wild side and choose the shuffle option more. I’ve grown to appreciate the shuffle feature, especially when I run because each song is a surprise, like when I listen to the radio, only better, because I like ALL of these songs and there are no commercials. They say you can tell a lot about a person by what he puts in his grocery cart. You can probably say the same about the songs in a person’s music collection. Woe is the person who tries to discern my personality based solely on my iPod. He’s likely to wonder what hippie drinks margaritas and praises Jesus while dancing the Time Warp to Christmas music in a grass skirt. Well, as Popeye says, “I yam what I yam, and that’s all that I yam”. Now on with the show.

Opening credits: Do You Hear What I Hear, Whitney Houston
First day at school: Boat Drinks, Jimmy Buffett
Falling in love: When the Heartache Ends-Rob Thomas.
Breaking up: Lord, I Lift Your Name on High-Sonic Flood. Who hasn’t prayed over a break up?
Prom: Margaritaville-Jimmy Buffett
Life’s Okay: Tube Snake Boogie-ZZ Top. Woops! How did that get in there?
Mental breakdown: Paint it Black-Rolling Stones. How appropriate!
Driving: Old Hippie-Bellamy Brothers
Flashback: Free Bird-Lynyrd Skynyrd
Getting back together: The Sunshine of Love-Louis Armstrong
Wedding: 3am-Matchbox Twenty
Divorce: Missing You-Rod Stewart
Current Mood: Hot Patootie Bless my Soul-Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack
Final battle: How Far We’ve Come-Matchbox Twenty
Death scene: Long Day-Matchbox Twenty
End credits: Peace of Mind-Neil Young

Break My Fall

I sailed through Walgreen’s last Sunday looking for some Chloraseptic for Sissy, turned the corner and came to a sudden halt. “That is NOT a Halloween costume, is it,” I barked to the shopper with the bad haircut. “Uh, yes,” she said, eying me warily. “Pfft! Ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous,” I mouthed. Deflated, I turned and headed toward the cold and flu aisle feeling fifty pounds heavier. I can’t believe it. It’s gonna happen again, isn’t it? Summer is going to end.

It started about two weeks ago. I stepped outside and caught that telltale whiff in the air, that smell of drying leaves preparing to drop from the trees. It was barely noticeable, but it was there. Sure enough, two days later the walnut tree started hurling its little leaves into the pool, beginning their annual August battle with the filter. Pretty soon other signs quietly started popping everywhere, slipping up on me like snakes in the grass. A few fall items replaced school supplies in the seasonal aisle at Wal-Mart. High school football scrimmages started last weekend. I bumped into a short stack of Halloween candy at the grocery store, and a buzz through Sam’s Wholesale Club yesterday brought me face to face with an inflatable vampire dancing to the music from Halloween. Fall is on its way, and is rushing in ahead of its time. Well, I have just one thing to say about that, “Wait, just a dadgum minute! I have 26 more days of summer, buster. 26! And I’m going to savor every last one of them. Take your cool weather, chili lovin’ self right back where you came from and stay there until September 22nd. Don’t come back a minute sooner! I mean it. Don’t make me stop this car ‘cause it won’t be pretty!”

I know most folks love it when fall rolls around. They like the relief from the summer heat. The leaves are pretty, and high school sports kick in again. They’re energized by the change in seasons. I’m not one of those folks. I mourn summer’s passing. I hate turning loose of the flip flops and shorts…and the sun, glorious sun. Fall means jackets and jeans, rain, less daylight and the promise of winter gloom. No more burning heat on my face. No more barefoot walks in the yard. No more long days that give way to lightning bugs and hummingbirds. No more watermelon or homegrown tomatoes. No more roller coaster rides or days by the pool. No more ice cream cones in the shade or Jimmy Buffett concerts. Gone. All gone. For another year. Another long year. Eight months of having to wear a coat or at least planning ahead before going outside. Eight months of unpredictable weather and gray skies. Eight stinkin’ months. Sigh. Oh, I’ll get through it. I always do, even though it gets tougher each year. I’ll manage somehow. I always do. Don’t worry about me. Go ahead you autumn lovers. Live it up, but not for 26 more days. Those days are mine, dang it, and I’m going to enjoy every last one of them. I will swim as much as possible, eat all the tomatoes I can stuff down my throat and sweat my fanny off in the heat. I will hold my head high and forge past your Halloween displays and leaf covered tablecloths in my flip flops and tank tops, right to the summer clearance bins where I can stock up on $2 beach towels and $1 sandals…for next year. Hrump! Take that, autumn!!

Word of The Day: Manners

Manners

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English manere, from Anglo-French, from Vulgar Latin *manuaria, from Latin, feminine of manuarius of the hand, from manus hand — more at manual

Date: 12th century

Definitions:
1. The socially correct way of acting; etiquette.
2. The prevailing customs, social conduct, and norms of a specific society, period, or group, especially as the subject of a literary work.

Examples:

Squeezing open sixteen ketchup packets for your fries while allowing your husband to take the container of ketchup you spent ten minutes getting by pumping the nearly empty dispenser like a pioneer at the well.

Smiling and making conversation in line at Wendy’s with the mentally disabled man you’ve never met before after he shows you all of the change in his pocket and then steps waaay into your personal space and gives you a big hug.

Sweetly saying, “Excuse me, please. May I pass?” to the two cranky women blocking the aisle in Wal-Mart instead of hollering, “Hey, could you move your a**. You’re mucking up the works!” when they give you a dirty look and move only a couple of inches.

Fun Monday-Trivia

Mamadrama is hosting Fun Monday this week, and here's what she wants to know:

What funny trivial fact do you remember that you probably should have forgotten a long time ago?

Hmm. Her example was about President Garfield. Well, here’s the thing. I’ve been thinking about this for several days now, and I’m stumped. I just can’t remember one useless bit of trivia from way back then that I probably should have forgotten by now. Not one thing. Not even some little tidbit about Ben Franklin or the preamble to The Constitution. I swear I didn’t sleep through grade school history class. I ALWAYS paid attention. Well, there WAS that time in sixth grade when Ramona and I were tossing paper wads back and forth during math class and Mrs. Korte called on me for an answer and I guessed wildly and got it right even though I didn’t have a clue what we were talking about. Good thing, too because Mrs. Korte was permanently cranky. She used to get stuck in her chair because her butt was too big for the seat, and she picked her nose and flicked boogers at us kids. Woe was the person who had to sit on the front row. I am NOT making that up. Hand to God. And truthfully, I’m not really sorry I just told that. See, Mrs. Korte? You should be nice to people so they don’t grow up and tell your secrets to the whole World Wide Web.

I was a good student, but I’ve just drawn a blank when it comes to that kind of trivia. What DO I remember? Plenty of other useless things like Eddie B’s favorite song in the whole wide world in 8th grade was The Eagles’ Take it to The Limit, and that his little sister’s name was Tina. I remember the new girl in 7th grade had a denim smock top with cherries and the words Play That Funky Music embroidered on it and that Kim E. won a first place ribbon at district band contest for her clarinet solo…and I got a second place ribbon. How about the fact that Felicia L. could do a flip without her hands? She’s the one who stabbed me in the chest with a pencil in fourth grade leaving me to forever fear that that piece of lead will travel to my heart one day and kill me. Or that Mrs. Quint had these gold sandals with fake multicolored jewels on them that she wore every day during warm weather? Or that Kit O. always brought Pringles in his lunch. I remember that Mike A. loved the song Lay Down Sally when we were in 8th grade and sang it in study hall. Boy, was he an ass! How could I forget that Lisa M.’s mom frosted Lisa’s hair in fourth grade? Whew! Glad MY mom wasn’t going to beauty school and needed someone to practice on. I remember that Joy G. had a Barbie RV at her house and that my fourth grade teacher called his youngest daughter “Tater”. I remember ALL of those things, but not one single iota of academic trivia from way back then.

Oooh! Wait! I think I’ve got something. Hang on, it’s coming. Dum da dee deed um. Oh yeah, here we go. How about this little nugget? The colors of the spectrum from Mrs. Bremer’s seventh grade science class (she was the one who gave us girls the menstruation speech in fifth grade). ROY G. BIV….red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. Ha! See. I told you I paid attention. Well, except for that time in fifth grade when Lisa M. and I were supposed to be looking up vocabulary words but got caught hiding behind the library cart ogling over that Spidel ID bracelet she got from her boyfriend.

Friday's 40 Word Challenge-Rawhide

Here's my answer to Robin's 40 Word Photo Challenge this week. You know the tune. Everybody sing along. (Get it? Raw-hide?)

Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’

Keep movin', movin', movin',
Though mom’s a disapprovin',
Keep them wheels a movin' Rawhide!
Don't try to two hand stand 'em,
Just jump and turn and land 'em,
Soon you'll be flyin’ high and wide.
Your knee’s anticipatin'
‘Cause Band Aids will be waitin', be waiting at the end of your ride.