Catch Up Tuesday

Because catch-up Monday didn’t happen as planned. And frankly, catch-up Tuesday was in danger for a little while. I’ll refrain from saying how fast this month has flown because that will make me sound like I’m getting old, but goodness, December has mown me down like a set of shears in the hands of an Army barber. December is the busiest month for me at work, with five large projects to plan and execute, and when you add the usual holiday hustle and grind, it makes for a very busy Hula. I finished up the last big project at work today, and my shopping is finally finished, so things should smooth out somewhat now. There is a lot to catch up on though.

The company I work for picked up canned goods at nine area schools last week in the food drive we do in the schools. When it was all said and done we had collected more than 22,000 pounds of food, and I’m proud to say I made it through the whole event this year without bursting into tears once. I don’t think it’s because I’ve gotten control of my emotions. I think it’s just the menopause. I’m low on estrogen. I had to put a lip waxing schedule into my Blackberry.

Except for that kidney stone that Mama J. passed last week, we’ve all managed to stay healthy lately, which is an accomplishment in this family. I did schedule an emergency appointment at the dermatologist for Teen Angel because of this funky leprosy looking rash on her feet and legs. The doctor at the walk in clinic a few weeks ago diagnosed it as Henoch Schonlie Purpura (say that three times fast), which is basically a harmless rash that is caused by a virus and will eventually go away without treatment. Except it hasn’t gone away. It’s worse than ever and now it itches. Initially, I thought she had just gotten into some kind of weed in the yard. Then I got scared that we had bedbugs and frantically searched her mattress for any sign of vermin. All I found were a couple of cereal crumbs and some sock fuzz. We finally ended up at the doctor where his diagnosis relieved us. Until now. So it’s off to the dermatologist tomorrow for Miss Scratches A Lot. Thank goodness it’s not swimsuit season.

Speaking of swimming, the fence around the pool is finished, and the man cave/garage is about 90% complete, with no thanks to some very lazy sheet rock finishers, thank you. Grandma was slow, but she wasn’t as slow as those guys. Geez. I’ll post full pictures of the project soon. We’re down to installing some plumbing and the finishing touches, but we have to wait on the concrete guy to stain the concrete floor, and he can’t get to it for two weeks, so we’re kind of at a lull. They’re going to have to get on the stick ‘cause Hubby and the boys have a poker game scheduled for that room in January. And a certain Hula Girl just might have a sleepover with her Bunco pals soon after that.

My Christmas shopping is done. Praise Jesus! Santa is coming to our house in the form of Amazon this year. Every day a box arrives for me at work from UPS, and I keep stacking them up to wrap.

I’m all for shopping local and supporting the local guy, but I just didn’t have time to trek from store to store this year, so I opted to actually get gifts under the tree and took the easy way out. And holy cow was it wonderful. I could totally shop from home from now on.

My next purchase? Is for me. After a year of saving, I finally have enough for this:

Oh, holy mother of Mabel, I can’t wait. Nothing makes me happier than getting a little gold Nikon box in the mail. Well, except for Matthew McConaughey showing up on my doorstep unannounced. Without his shirt. I’ll pause right here so Hubby can roll his eyes. You know, like he did while waiting for me to finish up Christmas shopping in JC Penney’s the other night.

Hubby gets the prize for the oddest Christmas present this year. He wants this Yeti thing that is attached to the back of a tree and looks from the front as if Bigfoot is peering from behind the tree. He wants to put it on the tree closest to the pool. Yes. He really does. I’m not even joking. This one is even worse than that big John Wayne statue he had when we first got married. Or the phone that quacked like a duck. Teen Angel is on board with this, too, so being outnumbered I gave in. It’s gonna look reeeal nice out there in the backyard. Every time I look at its picture in the catalog the leg lamp scene from A Christmas Story rolls through my head. Fra-gee-lay! If anyone asks what that thing is, I’m going to tell them it’s Italian.

Holiday Photo #2

Or as I like to call it: Christmas Wrapping.

My great Aunt June was a knitting fool. She made enough afghans to blanket the entire population of Yugoslavia, but she specialized in scarves and hats. Me and my cousins were the recipients of many such gifts throughout our growing up years. My brother has an absolutely hilarious picture of the Christmas when Aunt June knitted everyone gold sock caps, and we're all wearing them. This red and white scarf is one of Aunt June's gifts. It was warm, colorful..and itchy. I appreciated it though, and threw it on with as much debonair as an eight year old in backwoods rural America could muster. I believe this was during my Grace Kelly period when I liked to emulate her style in To Catch A Thief. I was probably disappointed I didn't have any sunglasses or a convertible to go with it. As I recall I loved these black patent leather shoes because I thought they were quite uptown.

So to keep the holiday spirits flowing boys and girls, answer this question: What Christmas gift did you receive as a kid that made you feel uptown..or grown up...or stylish?

Surprise!

I love surprises at Christmas. I've always been that way. As kids, we never knew what we were getting under the tree, and I loved the anticipation and elation that came with unwrapping the unknown. It's hard to be surprised by most of my family, especially Hubby's side. They tell everything they know. They can't help themselves. Even when they try to keep a secret it eventually comes tumbling out before its intended release date. It drives me crazy that I always know what I'm getting from them for Christmas. This year is different. Hubby pulled one over on me. As we say in these parts, he got me good.

I needed to go to the local mall today to pick up a few small, last gifts. He grumbled about going there. He pretended to miss the turnoff. He pretended to take the back streets to the mall. He acted like he was going to take me to the back of the mall and drop me off. Except he pulled into...a jewelry store. Now, he's not a jewelry present kind of guy. Heck, he's not even a roses kind of guy. That's okay because he's a do the laundry, vaccum the floor kind of guy, and that's way better than roses. We never buy each other gifts for our anniversary, and we don't get carried away with Christmas presents. We tend to buy each other practical things. I spend a lot of time joking about gifts of jewelry, but never in my wildest dreams do I expect small boxes of gems under the tree. Never. I mean, never. That's why I was so floored that he had picked out a piece of jewelry for me and wanted to make sure I liked it. I liked it...a lot. I mean alot. I wanted to cry. I'm a sentitmental old poop you know. I didn't cry because I didn't want to embarrass him, but it was all I could do to hold back the tears. I managed to until he dropped me off at the mall. I'm sure the folks in the Hallmark store and Victoria's Secret were wondering why I was bawling all over the cards and lingerie. It's because I have such a wonderful husband. Wonderful, not because he will buy me jewelry, but because after nineteen years, he still thinks I'm worth orchestrating a surprise for. Oh, and because I refuse to open gifts or reveal them before Christmas morning, I'm not telling what the item is. I'm going to be naughty and make you wait until December 25th. And don't give me that "it's not fair" line. I want to surprise you. I think it's worth waiting for.