Just ignore the edits in red. The first draft was a little wordyOnce upon a time
a 40 something mom the beautiful Queen Hula ruled her kingdom with
threats and impatience great wisdom and strength. She was
despised adored by
her teenaged daughter all and
exhausted admired
by the rest of the family for her beauty. Her
peeps subjects wanted to
wear her out honor her for
yet another weekend her hard work by
having her work her tail off giving her a special gift befitting of a royal leader. They decided
to move her sister-in-law on a great spa package
from a city five hours away in a nearby kingdom.
Mom Queen Hula was
numb delighted when she heard the news and hurriedly put her
old work clothes favorite pieces of the royal wardrobe into a
the first duffle bag she could find hand tooled leather bag. “What a
crock of crap wonderful weekend this will be,” she exclaimed. On that Friday afternoon, she
took a nap so she could stay awake later paced the floor in anticipation of the ride to the spa. Because she
couldn’t get off work had some royal business to attend to, she couldn’t leave for her
long a$$ drive spa retreat until that evening. Around 8pm she
dragged climbed into her
minivan carriage and rode
300 miles the short distance to
a big, dirty city the nearby kingdom. In no time at all, she
collapsed on the couch was tucked into a soft, downy bed, dreaming of all the
crap beauty treatments she would
have to load receive the next day.
The following morning she was
rolled off the couch awakened by the
loud mouth gentle voice of
her no-good husband a handsome footman and
dragged led from room to room for one
chore beauty treatment after another. She
scarfed down dined on a
Valu Meal six course dinner of
nuggets and fries only the finest and most expensive foods before
collapsing retiring to her
couch private room for a
brief nap long slumber. Arising
just a few hours later for a
quick leisurely breakfast of
Krispy Kremes Raspberry crepes, she dressed in her
ragged old jeans royal robes and
slinked into boarded her
minivan carriage for the
never ending thrilling ride home.
Back at
home the castle, she was
glad sorry that her
moving experience weekend retreat had ended
finally so quickly but
groaned basked in the knowledge that she was
due back at work the next morning loved and appreciated by all her royal subjects and that she
would never get had been given a wonderful gift of rest and relaxation. The end.
Or calm and composed like Grace.
But I'm not. Not at all. First of all, I've got a little hair problem.
And I'm feelin' a little prickly.
And I really need to vent.
I'm tellin' ya. If I don't get a nap tomorrow......
