Overdue

I’m really good at pointing out other people’s flaws. Hubby says I’m an expert at it. I don’t think that’s a compliment even though he says it with a smile. While I’m a crackerjack at summing up others’ issues, I’m terrible at figuring out my own flaws. Most of the time I’m not really interested in hearing about them because they’re so…so…uncomfortable. I generally have to be smacked over the head with something before I own up to it and then my reaction is usually somewhere along the lines of, “Oh, you must have me mistaken for that OTHER scrawny brunette with the pointed nose and double jointed elbows.” While denial can sometimes be a girl’s BFF, there are times where there is no avoiding the truth. As Mama says, what goes around comes around, and I have found that when it comes around it usually bites me in the butt. I had a chunk taken out of my backside yesterday, at the library of all places.

I love the library. My love for buildings with lots and lots of books goes back to my childhood. As a kid, I visited the library just about every week. It was a Carnegie Library with dark walnut shelves, ornate woodwork and the smell of aging pages. I would check out my weekly limit and then burrow myself in the corner between the Agatha Christie’s and the autobiographies for some solitary reading while Mama, Super Cop and Handy Man finished making their selections. I worked my way through rows of Little House and Nancy Drew books and moved into adult fiction way before I was mature enough to really understand some of what I was reading. I read book after book after book. The library makes the world accessible to everyone, no matter how poor or isolated he is. It’s where my dreams of travel and ambition were hatched, and just the touch of a library book today sends my brain racing through those old memories. The only problem I have with the library is fines.

I have joked about my library fines for years but never really considered them a problem. I mean fines are just their way of making you conform to a schedule, right? And that due date is like the expiration date on a milk carton. It’s just a suggestion really. A good book is to be savored and who can put a time limit on how it should be enjoyed? If I’m late taking back a book, I just pay the fine and skip to the shelves to check out more. I’ve been doing this for years.

My first fine was when I was about nine, and I lost a Nancy Drew book. While it eventually turned up in the closet where I had been playing, I had to pay for that book. In college, I had to pay library fines to get my final grades and as an adult I’ve often joked about having a library shelf named after me as my fines had likely paid for a shelf. Turns out, I wasn’t really wrong about that.

Yesterday, I returned my books and had to pay a whopping $12 fine. In my defense, most of that was due to Mama J. because I was returning her overdue books, too, and she had more books than me. The sweet lady who took my money had an issue with the computer system and couldn’t get the normal receipt to print. Very pleasantly she said, “I’ll just print your entire fine history, and it will be included on that.” “Oh, that’s okay,” I replied. “I don’t need a receipt.” She ignored my attempt to brush it off and hit the print button. With this little clicking noise, the printer started rolling off my list of fines for the last three years. And it clicked. And it clicked. It clicked some more. It paused to catch its breath and started clicking some more. The lady behind me stifled a laugh. The lady behind her peered over the counter to see how long the register tape was. I started to cringe. It just kept going until I couldn’t help myself and finally said, “Great Googly Moogly!” There was my shame of fines rolling off the counter and into the floor for everyone to see.
It was kind of like showing an alcoholic a scan of his liver. A library intervention right there at the circulation desk.

By the time the printer was finished I wanted to hide under the desk. The receipt was so long the librarian had to roll it up. She smiled nicely, handed it to me and said, “Thank you.” I said, “Thank you, I think.” I tucked it into my sack and slipped out the door, avoiding looking the lady behind me in the eyes. I forced myself to review that receipt this morning. The word "overdue" rings out over and over on the paper.

The total of my fines? $154.25. Just for the past three years. That doesn’t include the other nineteen years I’ve use that library. $154.25! I could buy a light stand with that money. And guess how long that receipt is. I measured. Twice, because I couldn’t believe it the first time. Seven feet, ten inches. That’s just crazy. It has to stop. I’m immediately implementing some new steps to improve this situation, and I have a new motto:

God, grant me the sensibility to check out only the books I will read, the strength to avoid the books I won't, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Five Lines

Here’s an interesting assignment I’ve been tagged with by Oreneta. I was supposed to go to the nearest book, and write down what I found on page 123, line 5 and the next three lines.

This was challenging for me in that it required me to print something out of context, and I spent seventeen years in journalism fighting the urge to do just that. This took me completely out of my comfort zone, but that’s okay. I need to do that every now and then. I grabbed three books that were handy, started turning pages and for various reasons, was pleased by what I found.

My first book was Home to Holly Springs by Jan Karon. If you liked her Mitford series, you’ll like this book. It’s the first in a new series of books about Father Tim going home to Mississippi. I’ve really enjoyed it. I’m 55 pages from the end and it has taken me FOREVER to read because I’ve had about ten minutes of reading time each night in the last two weeks. I hate it when I can’t make time to read. Am I rambling? Here it is:

“Thank you for having me.” The palm of her hand was cool; she wore a suit the color of the blue parlor walls.
“I didn’t know whether you’d come.”
“I wasn’t so sure about it myself.” He’d changed pants in the stockroom of Brooker’s, put on his linen sport coat, and left Barnabas with Red.
“Please,” she said. “Let’s sit in the window.”

It’s an okay passage, but examining it allowed me to drift to the next paragraph, which I really liked. I encourage you to read it slowly.

The room was greatly changed from his visits many years ago, though the overall spirit of it was brighter. They sat in high backed velvet chairs in the bay window, at a table furnished with a silver tea service and a vase of roses. Three petals had fallen onto the white cloth; a small cake, ornamented with a curl of shaved chocolate was displayed on a crystal stand.

I’m glad I read it a second time because it forced me to appreciate her descriptive style, something I didn’t do when I raced through it the first time on my way toward the next chapter. I need to do that more often…appreciate the author’s work, not just the storyline. Am I being all philosophical?

Book #2—Me & Emma by Elizabeth Flock. I haven’t read this book yet. It was one of several I picked up at the library on my last trip there. That was a good library day. You know how sometimes you go and find nothing that excites you and other days you find more books than you have time for? This was a good day. Am I rambling?

We’ve never really talked about how Daddy died—I always figured Emma didn’t think about it, her being so weensy when he was killed and all.
“I don’t know,” she says.
“His killers live in this forest and we’re hunting them down?”
“Well…”
“Well what?”
“They might live here, you never know. They never did catch ‘em did they?”

Ooh, now I’m really interested in this book, more so than when I pulled it off the shelf.

And finally, I grabbed the closest cookbook I had sitting near me. I’m never far from one. It was a hometown cookbook that contains this recipe on page 123. This is longer than five lines, but it wouldn’t be fair to give you only a partial recipe.

ITALIAN BEEF

1 beef rump roast 1 clove garlic, crushed
1 can beer 2 tsp Italian seasoning
1 package dried onion soup mix

Put roast in a crock pot. Combine remaining ingredients and pour over roast. Cook on low for ten to fifteen hours. Serve on French rolls.

This is a great recipe that I’d forgotten all about. I’m so glad I stumbled on it again. Perhaps that whole “out of context” thing isn’t quite so bad. Thanks Oreneta.

Crazy Eights

Well, I was chasing lightning bugs, but everyone else was playing tag, including Jan who slipped up behind me when I wasn’t expecting it and hit me with this meme. It’s just as well. I didn’t have a good idea for a post today so I'm happily playing along:

8 THINGS I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT

1. Freedom of speech
2. My family
3. Fitness
4. Books and reading (and putting books in the hands of children who can’t afford them)
5. Writing
6. Lifelong learning
7. Raising Teen Angel to be independent, confident and sure that she doesn’t have to rely on a man for her emotional or financial well being.
8. Music. I love all kinds of music and rarely go anywhere without my iPod or a radio.

8 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE (just 8?)

1. See the Eiffel Tower
2. Lie on the floor of the Sistine Chapel and look at the ceiling
3. Own a convertible
4. Write a book
5. Run a marathon and finish
6. Own an English bulldog
7. Visit the small railroad town we lived in when I was very young and see our old home and hangouts.
8. Own a small home in the Caribbean

8 THINGS I SAY OFTEN

1. "Puddin"-It’s a substitution for any and all swear words that usually come to mind first
2. “This is NOT a democracy.”-Usually reserved for Teen Angel, although I have used it on at least two argumentative employees in the past.
3. “You know I hate a whiner.”-Again, usually used on Teen Angel when she’s playing the pity card.
4. “Hateful!”-Hubby and I use this with each other when one of us has slipped into a tone of voice that is not nice or respectful.
5. “Sucks to be you.”-I jokingly use this only on friends when they have to do something that is not fun.
6. “It is what it is.”-Used frequently on the rest of my family who tends to worry excessively about everything and tries to suck me into their fretting frenzy. I refuse to worry about things I cannot change. It doesn’t always work with these people.
7. “Don't have sex. Don't have sex. Don't have sex."-I like to throw that out to Teen Angel in random conversation, kind of like those subliminal messages slipped into advertising.
8. “Bless her heart”-that old southern phrase that is intended to soften the blow of the derogatory comment that is about to follow. For example: “Bless her heart. She’s really put on the weight.” There really isn’t any blessing behind it.

8 BOOKS I'VE READ LATELY: Heavens to Betsy (who is this Betsy, anyway?) I read so much I have trouble remembering what I’ve read. I always have a book handy. Here are a few I’ve read in recent months.

1. The Doctor’s Wife by Elizabeth Brundage-Excellent page turner.
2. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides. Very interesting but disappointing ending.
3. A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest Gains-Love the plot and the prose.
4. The Memory Keeper’s Daughter by Kim Edwards. Couldn’t put it down.
5. Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs-Fascinating but slightly repulsive at times.
6. Icy Sparks by Gwen Hyman-excellent read.
7. White Oleander by Janet Fitch-another great book. Heavy topic.
8. It Ain’t All About the Cookin’ by Paula Deen-Honest and colorful autobiography.

8 MOVIES I'VE WATCHED EIGHT OR MORE TIMES

1. Steel Magnolias-Maybe my all time favorite.
2. Fried Green Tomatoes-Maybe my all time favorite.
3. Terms of Endearment-When I need a good cry.
4. A Trip to Bountiful-When I need another good cry.
5. All the President’s Men-Helped to inspire my interest in journalism a very long time ago. That and Jessica Savitch.
6. The Shawshank Redemption-Love the part where he plays opera over the sound system.
7. Animal House-When I was in college I got a bid to be a little sister for the animal house fraternity on campus. I passed but was flattered in a weird way.
8. The Rocky Horror Picture Show-In my younger days I spent a fair amount of time traveling around the Midwest in my RH costume dancing and throwing toilet paper in theaters. I portrayed Magenta with voyeuristic intention.

And now for the hard part, tagging 8 other people for this. I’m not good at tagging, so I’ll throw out some names and if you want to play along, okay. If not, I’ll understand. Okay, I’m closing my eyes, turning around and picking……

1. Cruise Mom
2. Amy
3. Heather
4. Pamela
5. Oreneta
6. Faye
7. ChrisB
8. Molly