Thursday, April 26, 2012

It Sounds Like Rice Krispies Around Here in the Morning

We're having a week where Mr. and Mrs. Hula-gen are feeling our ages.  If anything else aches or falls apart, you're going to have to start calling us Achy and Breaky or Creaky and Squeaky.  Or grunt and Groan.  We seem to be falling apart somewhat.  Although I will say my grip is apparently still better than Teen Angel who managed to drop a bowl of macaroni and cheese ON THE LIVING ROOM RUG last night. 

My foot is much better, but it's not completely healed.  I've been babying it as much as possible.  I can run three miles on it about three times a week, but I'm not running every day because it's just not well enough for that.  And it appears my ankle is somewhat weak.  It still has a tendency to roll outward if I step on slanted surfaces or something uneven, like a rock.  Or nothing at all.  I rolled it yesterday walking in flat shoes on a flat sidewalk to a lunch meeting.  I have the grace of a bull elephant these days.  Anyway, I'm trying to keep it in decent condition so I can do my part in the Iron Mom relay race in a couple of weeks.  After that, we'll see.

Hubby's right foot is killin' him.  He says it feels just like the left foot did when he had a heel spur.  The spur surgery was quite the ordeal so he's trying to limp along (Get it?  Limp along?) until he takes care of the other issues he's dealing with like the hernia and THE GALLBLADDER FROM HELL.  My diagnoses a couple of weeks ago was right.  His gallbladder is bad, and it needs to come out.  He is scheduled for surgery next Thursday, and he can hardly wait.  Which tells me a lot because the man would rather walk ten miles across hot coals barefoot than go to a doctor, much less sign up for surgery.  He is hurtin' for certain.  I was shocked at how readily he agreed to have that little ol' gallbladder yanked out. 

I can't wait for him to feel better, but sister mercy, getting there will be no fun.  He is not a good patient.  He was cranky in the surgeon's office Tuesday just because he had to fill out paperwork, and I don't expect it to get any better until everything is healed.  To say that he has no patience is like saying Hershey's dabbles in chocolate. 

Why are most men that way when it comes to medical issues?  You have to drag them to the doctor and then baby them through every step of recovery.  And women have little patience for that.  Why ?  Because we birth babies.  I'm not saying we're right (okay, I probably am), but we feel like childbirth trumps every medical issue a man can bring to the table with the exception of third degree burns over a great percentage of his body.  Even kidney stones.  Yes, even kidney stones.  You men like to compare that the childbirth, but we're not buyin' it.  If you compare how much the urethra has to expand for a kidney stone to how much the hoo hoo has to expand to pass a seven, eight or nine pound baby, childbirth wins hands down in our book.  Especially if you give birth WITHOUT AN EPIDURAL.  Really, there ought to be a badge you get to wear once you've done that.  Something along the lines of "Missed my Epidural.  I am Woman!"  I'd wear that stinkin' badge every day, and it's been nineteen years since I missed my epidural.  Believe me, you don't forget something like that.  Poor Hubby, for as long as he lives, he has to put up with my dismissal of his aches and pains with the reminder that I didn't get to use my epidural.  That's just the way it is, men.  Until science finds a way for you to give birth, we are going to declare our gender the winner of the I've Suffered More game.  It may not be fair, but look at it as a trade-out for your ability to pee anywhere standing up and the fact that you don't have to deal with menstruation. 

Next week should be interesting.  Hopefully, Hubby will sail through this procedure with flying colors.  The doctor is going to dig around and check out that hernia while he's in there, repairing it if need be.  THEN we'll begin to think about that sore heel.  And maybe the popping knee.  And the sore breast bone.  And the stiff hand......      


Heather Ann said...

Hi! I've been reading your blog for a bit, but never commented before :) Just wanted to say this: had kidney stones twice, induced labor without an epidural (till I started crying, then they gave me the epidural) and had a c-section and 2 natural births.

So, anyways. The point is, here is my weigh in on the great stones vs birth debate:
the pain is equal - the duration is not equal. If you have kidney stone pain equal to childbirth, they shoot you up with morphine. With birth they just tell you to hang in there and then push.

They are different, I respect both sides.

Hope you guys feel better over there soon!

oreneta said...

Gotta be tough to get two ways about it.

Hula Girl at Heart said...

Heather, so glad you visit my corner of the world and that you took the time to comment today! Shhh, let's not tell the men about the whole equal thing, huh? Let's just keep it between us girls. ;)

Sorry you've had kidney stones, TWICE. I hear their horrible, and I figure karma being what it is, I'll probably get one now. LOL.

Sharon said...

Getting older is hell, no two ways about it. If I'm not aching with something my husband is. Usually it's the both of us though that have some sort of ailment. And I am ashamed to say my husband is much more tolerant of pain than I am. How I ever had 2 kids is beyond me. Thought I would die with the first one. Seriously, I did.

Good luck to hubby! And keep babying that ankle. Lord it does not end.