Is it Summer Vacation Yet?

Okay, here's a sign that it's time to wrap up the school year. Hubby started out of the house at 6:30 this morning to get the newspaper. He heard a noise that sounded suspiciously like a school bus, and when he opened the garage door, there sat the bus waiting for Teen Angel. Dumbfounded, he stood there a moment staring at the driver and an empty bus. He walked toward the bus (in his pajamas-no robe/Lord we have to quit doing that), and the driver asked if Teen Angel was getting ready. "Well mam, there is no school today. It's a holiday," he replied. "I know, but I thought they were making up a snow day today." "Um, no. They don't have school." "Oh."

Thank goodness he refrained from asking her why she didn't get suspicious when no other children were at their stops because she was apparently VERY embarrassed. And thank goodness she didn't ask why he wasn't wearing a robe. Hubby says she turned off her lights and slid out of the subdivision as quietly as possible. God bless her. Their last day of school isn't until Friday, and it obviously won't be a moment too soon for her. I must say though, it certainly makes me feel a little better about putting my underwear on wrong side out yesterday.

Random Laughter

Maybe it’s because I’m kind of tired but everything seems funny lately. I love a really good belly laugh. I try to laugh often, long and loudly. I come from a family of expert gigglers. My mom is the lady who laughs too loud in the back of the theater. Before she had kind of a split in her sibling relationships, putting me, her and her sisters in the same room ended up in some gut busting cackle sessions that got downright annoying to the rest of the family. I’ve been especially prone to the chuckles this week…and it’s because of some odd stuff. Here are just a few of the things that have had me laughing. I must warn you these fall into the “I probably shouldn’t share this much personal information with the world, but I will anyway because I’m a blog wench” category. Any men in the audience may want to skip number one. You women will enjoy it.

1. A friend of mine who shall remain unnamed in order to protect her identity discovered she had started her period just as she was getting ready to walk out the door of her house. Unfortunately, she was walking out that door forever, since she was moving. Having packed and shipped all of her belongings, there was nary a personal hygiene product in the house. There were however, a few cleaning products on the shelf in a hall closet and let’s just say Swiffer pads aren’t just for cleaning the floor. Given that she’s single and all I thought about making a joke about something being dusty, but I refrained.

2. I heard a story about an acquaintance of mine in another state who got cited for bicycling while intoxicated. It seems he fell off his bike and into some bushes while riding home, and somebody called the law on him. After getting cited for BUI he was told he would have to push his bike home instead of peddling it. I can’t believe I know someone who got a BUI. That’s hilarious.

3. Teen Angel and I both farted the other day at the exact same time. Sorry, but you know I’m immature and flatulence humor cracks me up. At least we were home when it happened. To make it even funnier I laughed so hard, I did it again. Did I really just admit that?

As author and humorist Lew Grizzard used to say, “D**n brother, I don’t think I would have told that.”