Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Breaking News-Hardly

Updates on stories we first brought you yesterday:

Guess what happened last night with dinner. When Hubby checked in on Papa T. and Mama J. he noticed Papa T. hadn’t eaten his mashed potatoes. He asked him what was wrong with the mashed potatoes. Papa T.’s reply? “Nothing. I’m just trying to watch my weight.” It was so funny I couldn’t be mad.

Oh, and Teen Angel has named the raccoon Chester. From this post forward he shall be called Chester. Chester apparently likes macaroni and cheese. That’s what he dined on when he came back to the yard today. The neighbor also saw a skunk back there Monday night. Just call me Marlin Perkins.

Today’s story brought to you by ABC, the network for middle aged women.

There’s still a lot of discussion about the conclusion of Lost. I will miss the show. It was a rare bird in the circus called network television. It was intelligent, humorous and sometimes downright heart wrenching. Raise your hand if you DIDN’T cry when Charlie drowned with his hand against the window desperately sending the message “Not Penny’s Boat”. And who didn’t cry when Sawyer and Juliet were reunited in the finale? Mmm hmmm. That’s what I thought. While I will miss the puzzles and the passions, I have to be really honest and sheepishly admit that one of the things I will really miss is the eye candy.

Now that the hotties of Tuesday night are gone, who is this forty something menopausal housewife going to ogle? The other networks don’t seem to have anything that holds a candle to the men of the island.

Oh, Jack. You may have had daddy issues, but you certainly knew how to fill out a pair of jeans. And those biceps. Love the guns, man.

Sayid. That long curly hair and those piercing dark eyes made me forget that you were an assassin. You may have been a killer, but I was completely willing to overlook that character flaw when you pranced around the beach in a tank top.

And then there was Desmond. That warm smile and charming accent could lure me anywhere. Lure me, Desmond. Please.

Sawyer, Sawyer, Sawyer. A bad boy, yes. But completely irresistible. Have I mentioned that I've always had a thing for bad boys?

The producers managed to find a way for you to lose your shirt on a regular basis and for that I say thank you, Jesus.

All of them brightened my Tuesday nights for the past six years, and now I am...well…lost. I need some new eye candy. I mean there’s always the occasional movie on TNT with a little pinup action. Like that scene in Road House where Patrick Swayze slides out of bed and we get to see his bare butt. I always stop whatever chore I’m doing to catch that. In fact, the last time it was on Hubby hollered at me to come check out the TV right before that scene. He’s such a good husband. Matthew McConoughey jumps across the screen every now and then in swim trunks. That’s nice. But a weekly viewing appointment with handsome men would be better. I could say I like all of my television viewing to be enlightening and educational but that would be a big fat lie. Sometimes I like a little scenery. And Jay Leno just isn’t going to cut it.


karisma said...

LOL! Thanks for the morning laugh you old perv you! My daughter was so hooked on Lost that when she found out it was aired two days earlier in the US she went on a rampage till she found it online and YES we very naughtily watched it two days early over here! And yes there were tears, especially from her.

Jason, as himself said...

I guess you'll just have to watch The Jason Show instead. And I could take off my shirt for you, if you'd like.

But THIS is no dream, baby. THIS is real life.

Jan n Jer said...

Oh you like eye candy do you! Never heard that term before...I like it! Your a normal 40 something woman...LOL

J.G. said...

Surely the networks will come up with something! Using your roadmap, I hope.

Trailboss said...

You had me in stitches as usual Hulla. I tried to watch Lost when it first started but apparently I just kept getting, well lost and never could get into it. I have to admit though, the eye candy you are showing makes me realize how I gave up way too early in trying to watch the first season. As for Patrick and the butt shot, I couldn't agree w/you more! That movie was on last night but I tuned in when he was looking for Baby and she was sleeping so I missed it. **sigh** and that concludes my comment today.

The Church Lady said...

I was not a LOST fan. Well, I never watched it. So, I'm sure if I did, I would have been hooked. That Sawyer is a hottie for sure!