My Senior Rhetoric Teacher, Wilma Lassiter, Would Have A Fit Over These Bullet Points

But it will have to do ‘cause that’s all I have time for. Turn your head, Wilma. You think my composition is bad, you should check out my calculus. Mrs. Beardsley rolls over in her grave every time I try to calculate impact based upon speed. But on a positive note, you’ll be thrilled to know I have found a career that utilizes my excessive talking skills. Anyhoo….

1. I should write a cookbook called “Ten Minute Meals”. The work/bible school schedule this week has me arriving home at 5pm, slapping dinner on the table at 5:10pm and heading out the door to the church at 5:15pm. Sunday we had leftover hot dogs from the church block party. Monday was tuna salad (made Sunday night) jammed into tomatoes, last night was crockpot soup and tonight my family declared we were ordering Chinese food. To which I said, “Hallelujah!”

2. Mama J. didn’t make it to her weekly beauty shop appointment Saturday because of some digestive issues, so she called Teen Angel to come down to the house to curl and set her hair tonight after VBS. TA wanted to know if I would help. I have had to do that before, and that falls into the category of Girlfriend is on her Own. There is a reason I don’t curl my own hair, and that’s because I’m worse at hair rolling than I am at calculus.

3. Papa T. tried on three pair of pants last Tuesday before he found a pair that would fit. He is rapidly outgrowing his britches because he can’t put down his fork. He finds it most distressing but not enough to refrain from trying to eat Mama J.’s donut when she wasn’t looking.

4. Teen Angel leaves Monday morning for a mission trip to Georgia. I haven’t begun to think about what to pack. I’m thinking of just leaving it up to her under the guise of teaching her to be independent. The control freak in me probably won’t let me do that, though.

5. There is a little boy at bible school who was Sissy’s favorite student when she helped with bible school a couple of years ago, before her mental illness spun out of control. When I look at him I want to smile and cry at the same time.

6. Sunday is my birthday, and I have been so busy I truly did not realize it until this past weekend. I told my family to give me money for my lens fund. Just $2200 to go! I should have that lens by 2017.

7. Come Sunday I will officially be closer to fifty than forty, and anybody who reminds me of that can kiss my arse. If anyone asks, I’m at least 38.

8. If the Coke man doesn’t fill up the machine at work with some Coke Zero soon, I’m gonna hunt him down and drag him into the office by knife point.

9. Watching the kids at VBS jump and run into the sanctuary at the end of the evening last night made me wish I could bottle their energy and huff it each night about eight o’clock. I would have a serious addiction if that were possible.

10. How is it, a child can run like the wind for a bowl of ice cream or dance six rounds with the family dog right up until bedtime but not find the energy to put a new roll of toilet paper on the hanger?

11. I do not have to work Friday. And let all the people say, “Amen”.