Rated "M" For Mature Audiences

I debated whether or not to post about this, and then I finally decided that I would in the interest of keepin' it real as they say. Besides, we must all laugh at ourselves every now and then. I'll just warn you that this post is a little naughty, as mama says.

I'm always taking pictures of somebody or something. Sometimes in a very obvious way. I try to be respectul of the situation and the subject, but it can be a little embarrassing for Hubby to find me laying on the ground or climbing on vehicles or furniture to get a shot. I get some strange looks that are probably well deserved. I get some dirty looks, too. Not everyone wants his picture taken. I get it. No problem. It usually doesn't bother me much. Usually.

Tuesday night, when we were in Nashville at BB King's, listening to the band, the band decided to walk down into the crowd and have some fun. They spread out in a circle around us and took turns playing solos, trying to outdo each other as the spotlight highlighted each one. Well, Hula and Hubby were right in the middle of the crowd, and the band was all around us. In fact, the lead singer/guitar player was right beside me. As in so close to me I could have given him a Pillsbury Doughboy poke in the belly button. The spotlight was thrown back and forth between the band members, and I was having a big time taking pictures because they didn't seem to care and other folks in the audience had their camera phones going. I wasn't in the band members' faces, but let's just say you couldn't miss me.

The lead singer was playing to the audience by showing off some superb skills and playing with Hubby's beer bottle.

I was snapping away, right in front of him. Picture, picture, picture. And then he surprised me by playing the guitar with his teeth. It happened so fast, I didn't get the shot. When the trumpet player took over the solo, the singer looked at me and said, "Are you ready?" He was offering me a second chance. I said, "Sure!" and got all lined up and focused. There I am right in front of him, ready to go. Seconds later, the spotlight landed on the lead singer again. And me. Just me and him. He nodded to me. I nodded back. I was ready. And then...and then....as the whole crowd watched...he played the guitar....with his tongue...in what can only be described as a very suggestive way. I snapped the photo instinctively, but I was so dadgum surprised I moved and got a fuzzy picture.

Oops, the joke was on Hula. And while the full house at BB's laughed and clapped and my face flushed sixteen shades of magenta, he did it again. Staring right at me. I looked at Hubby, and he gave me a You Kind Of Asked For It look. I gamely snapped off a couple of other photos, laughed with the crowd and then sat down and died a thousand deaths.

Oh, the ways we artists suffer for our craft.