Family Functions

A coworker asked at lunch this week if she was the only one with a dysfunctional family. "Are you kidding?", I snorted. "We all have dysfunctional families". I looked around though, and everyone else had this blank look on their face, pretending not to know what I was talking about. Come on! I know they have their fair share of goobers and crazies in their families. After all, this is the South. We celebrate that kind of thing. They're just unwilling to admit it. I don't know why. We're all in the same boat. My family is full of dysfunction, and it doesn't bother me at all.

Let's see, there's the relative who fell off of a motorcycle years ago and hasn't been quite right since. You never know where conversation is going to go with him. I have a great aunt who is the "whailer" and "fainter" at every funeral regardless of how well she knew the person. She also has a perverse habit of snapping photos of the diseased. You have to be careful when you're sifting through her vacation photos because the cadaver pics are scattered among them. Right there between Savannah and Tampa is Uncle Roy in his black suit. We have a lot of undiagnosed depression on my mom's side of the family that causes some interesting twists in relationships. I can't even begin to blog about that without the risk of alienating myself from the family. I will just say, "There is no hidden money Aunt B.!". And don't forget my cousin in federal prison. He's doing life for drug and attempted murder. He's really not a bad guy. He was just too lazy to work. I can accept the drug charges, but I really can't buy the attempted murder conviction. He wouldn't hurt a fly. We all sign a "thinking of you" card for him at the family reunion each year. We're thoughtful that way.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. I could go on and on. I have a lot of family. A LOT. We have plenty of quirks and personality conflicts. We rumble a little and roll with the ups and downs. But no matter what happens, we always support each other when times gets tough. We may roll our eyes and clench our teeth, but we will pick great Auntie M. off the funeral home floor, help her to the casket, nod when she says "doesn't he look nice" and look the other way while she has her Kodak moment. We love each other. We need each other, cause it's a crazy world out there.