Thumbs Up

My mother-in-law cracks me up sometimes. She’s 80, so she’s entered the “I can say what I want and nobody will call me on it” stage of life. Throughout the years she’s been known to cuss out a bad driver or two, and she did raise five children, so she’s no stranger to profanities. I’ve even heard her drop the f-bomb a couple of times which is a little rare for that generation. However, a few months ago we discovered a gap in her repertoire of obscenities. My lovely daughter was on hand to witness the results.

The two of them were trucking down the highway, and I’m sure mom was diddling around at her usual 25 mph, when the guy behind her got fed up, whipped around her and honked. It really ticked her off, so she called him a bad name. I don’t know which name because Teen Angel had to bleep it out when she told me the story later. Then mom gives the guy a vigorous “thumbs up” sign, turns to Teen Angel and asks with great satisfaction, “Did you see what I did”? The rest of the conversation goes like this:

“Grandma, WHAT are you doing”?
“What do you mean”?
“What’s with the thumb thing”?
“Ha. I’m giving him the finger”.
“The finger?! Grandma, that’s not the right finger. That’s a thumbs up. You know, like George Bush does. It means okay, good job, something like that.”
“Oh. Hm. Well, what is the right finger”?
“It’s your MIDDLE finger.”
“What? Really? Show me.”
“Well, okay, but I’m not supposed to be doing this. See? I can’t believe I’m showing this to my grandma. Geez.”

Since then, mom has all but quit driving, so we’re not sure if she’s tried out her new technique on anyone. I have to wonder, if she thought for several years that George Bush was giving us the finger all those times he bounced off of Air Force One, winked and gave us the “thumbs up”. No wonder she wouldn’t vote for him.