Whassup?!

Yo, yo, yo dawg, what’s crackin’? Don’t chuck a spaz on me, peeps. I’m just practicin’ my slang, so I’ll know what the heck these teenagers are sayin’ when they whiz around me at the traffic light or knock me down at the mall. About once a week I have to Google a slang term that my child or someone younger than my shoes has thrown at me. I usually nod like I know what they’re talkin’ about and then rush to the computer for a word vomit. I try to be sneaky about it so as not to fly my freak flag but stayin' cool after 40 is soooo fornever. Even wearing my dress flops don’t help, and don’t even think about a good push. Sometimes this generation gap seems as large as those flyboy jeans you gotta’ hold up with one hand. Poor Hubby, he doesn’t even stand a chance. He’s lost the shizzle to his fizzle. He’s always asking me to clue him in. The word that stumped him this week? Poser.
So you won’t be all confusinger here’s the definition:

poser - a person who habitually pretends to be something he is not
Showoff, exhibitionist-someone who deliberately behaves in such a way as to attract attention

Okay, now that I know what it is I think I qualify, but (sigh) I'm still not hip.