This week's host is Ari_1965, and this week's topic is neighbors. This should be interesting. I can't wait to read everyone's posts. Here is the specific assignment:
Tell us about your all-time worst Neighbors from Hell. You know, the family of Irish clog dancers who once lived in the flat/apartment above you? Mrs. Nextdoor and her banshee-like multiple orgasms? Mr. and Mrs. Hard-of-Hearing with their television on full blast? The guys across the street who set off 4th of July fireworks starting in March and didn't stop until the first real snowfall?
I have to say, I've always been lucky with neighbors. Oh, there was the occasional dud when I was young and single and living in apartments. I had a woman who lived above me who was quite amorous and didn't mind letting everyone hear it. There was the family who lived in an apartment below me and Hubby when we first got married who had a pack of dogs they allowed to crap everywhere, including our doorstep. Nice. But overall, we've had great neighbors. We love our current neighbors. In fact, we make homemade goodies that we hand deliver to them at Christmas. The most interesting of these neighbors is a gentleman who is in his upper 80's, and has been married three times. His first wife died of cancer, and let's just say the two wives that followed were doozies. Both were mail order brides. One came from China, and they didn't get along very well. He ended up shipping her home at her request. The other one was an elderly woman who seemed okay at first, and then became kind of a gold digger. They parted company, and she got a nice settlement out of the mess. Soon after she moved away I was sifting through some old books she gave me when she left, and discovered check stubs from several previous husbands she had received settlements from. Me thinks she made this a habit. Despite his bad luck, this particular neighbor hasn't lost his yearn for affection. Currently, he has a girlfriend that he travels with and dates.
He still likes to party every now and then, too. Several months ago, we kept seeing a cab in his driveway on Friday evenings. Hubby finally got curious and asked him about it. Come to find out, he was using the cab to get back and forth to a regular party with friends because he didn't want to get a DUI. He was spending a ton of money on the cabs even though the party was only a few minutes away from his house. Hubby told him he'd take him to and from his parties. So, every now and then he calls Hubby for his ride. Hubby picks up him and his grocery sack of beverages and bar supplies, drops him off at precisely 5:30pm and brings him and the sack home at exactly 10:30pm. Hubby is neighborly that way, and besides, we figure at age 86 he's entitled to party if he wants to, especially if he avoids driving.
He is full of life, and I love him to death. He had become somewhat weak in the last year, but he still rides his bicycle every day, still likes the women and wine and knows how to have a good time. I hope I'm lucky enough to feel that way when I'm his age. Thanks for stopping by. Now, trot on over to Ari_1965 and meet everyone else's neighbors.
While doing a little of that:
when you politely ask if there is any more sage in the back. 
Or as I like to call it: Hula is a piss poor photographer. 
And guess who grabbed the baby right away. As in before his glasses adjusted to the inside light.
Hello! Other family in the house, too! Hey, dad! Over here. Remember us? The people you raised? The people who THREW this party for you? Yeah, when you get a minute you might greet your guests. 
As in put the death grip on him and walked away with him "to show him to someone else" when I tried to take him from her three hours into the event. Uh-huh, oh yes she did, girlfriends. I snapped this photo during the 1.3 seconds she was NOT holding Special D.
And lots of family. Did I mention daddy had eight brothers and sisters? These two sisters came.
The woman in the middle? That's little Betty. And here's Big Betty. 
I love her. She's the one who laid a big 'ol hug on Hubby during his first family reunion with this bunch and sent him into a Holy mother of Elmo my family isn't into touching what did you just do seizure. I really love her.
There was enough hot air there to raise the Hindenburg. Those are daddy's work buddies. Well, now they're retirement buddies. Boy, did they have some fun times when they worked together. More fun than should be allowed at a plant where they handle radioactive materials.
I threatened to give baby brother a swirly AND a noogie if he didn't smile nice and pretty like his big sister said right now, dang it. And I told Hubby to get the heck out of the way because we weren't making friend egg sandwiches with pickles and mayonnaise for 75 people so his cooking skills were not needed. 
And as I looked around I realized that what's going on in front of the camera isn't always as interesting as what's going on behind it.
Gotcha!
This had to have been about six years ago because Teen Angel was still growing into her Chic-let teeth. (Note the pager on my waistband.) Have I mentioned how much I love Carmen Miranda? Or how hard it is to balance ten bucks worth of plastic fruit on your head?
Oh, how I love this ring. I never take it off because I believe if you're married you should wear your ring. It is a symbol. It tells the world something about you, and it keeps you honest. I had to leave mine at the jeweler's last month to have it resized, and I felt completely naked without it. I wear my original wedding rings on my right hand.
Anyone who works directly with the public knows exactly what I’m talking about because they can tell when there’s a full moon without ever looking at the sky.
Wish we were there with her. That way we could figure out who the heck she is, 'cause even though it was mailed to Teen Angel with the correct name and address, T.A. doesn't know a Cheryl. But we're glad she wrote 'cause it sure did add a little fun to OUR trip....to the mailbox. 
Isn’t that what everybody does when there’s a stink in the house? Our poor pooch gets blamed for everything from rotten produce left in the crisper too long to every poot expelled where two or more Hula-gen’s are gathered. He’s an easy scapegoat, especially for that flatulence thing, because no one can prove it WASN’T him. Naturally, he was the first source we looked to for this particular smell.
We were starting to panic when Teen Angel made a breakthrough Sunday and realized she only smelled the stench whenever the heat came on. Aha! It must be in the heating and air system, we thought. We called the heating and air company, and while their guy suspected algae in the drip pan, it was dry as a bone. Nothing, nada, zip. He searched for an hour and a half and found nothing. Back to square one.
With their homemade signs.
And you know what made two tears slide down my cheek? When the veteran in this Jeep
who thought I was with those school kids, slowed down and said solemnly, "Thank you for bringing the kids." Lord help me, it's a good thing no one played Taps or I would have puddled up and slid right down the storm drain.
In fact, if I had to pick just ONE picture that sums up this region, this would be it. This kind of view is available outside just about everyone's back door around here. However, in the midst of all the country flavor we have these unique bright spots of diversity and big city ideas. We have a state of the art performing arts center that brings Broadway shows to our town. We have a symphony, and the historic homes that used to be falling apart have been remodeled into fabulous buildings that are used as homes and art galleries by artists who have moved here from all over the country in the past few years. Who knew they would pick this little rural part of the country to set up shop and bring us such cool businesses and people. This really is a special place to live, cornfields on one side of the road and painters on the other. Now toddle on over to 
