Dear Grandma

Dear Grandma B.,
Hope you’re doing okay. Gosh. It’s been a while. What? About nineteen years. Time flies. How are things up there? Tell Elvis I said hello, that is, if he made it there and all. I know you made it because if you didn’t the rest of us don’t have a snowball’s chance of getting there. Anyhoo. I wanted you to know I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, partly because mama assigned me dressing duty for Thanksgiving. I remember watching you make dressing and I was…uh…kind of…um….hoping you’d give me a few pointers. I really don’t want to screw this one up, so a little tip or two would be most appreciated.

Mostly, I was thinking about you because of my ears. I know that sounds a little funny, but let me explain. I almost died of cholera a couple of weeks ago. Weeeell, it wasn’t really cholera, it was typhoid. Okay, okay, it was just a sinus infection and bronchitis. Maybe the deathbed thing was a little exaggeration too, but I FELT like I was dying. Because of my messed up lungs, I haven’t been running in about three weeks. Did you know I run now? I know. It surprises me, too. I used to always say I wouldn’t run unless my butt was on fire, but that was before my metabolism retired to Florida. So, I felt like I was well enough to get moving again and laced up my shoes this past weekend. I ran Saturday, and I ran again today at lunch. It was windy, damp and a little cool, (Don’t tell mama. She’ll have a cow that I ran in this kind of weather.) and I thought I should wear a hat to protect my ears. I know. I know. I have NEVER wanted to wear winter hats, but I put one on both days. It made me think about all of those times when I was a kid and you wanted me to wear a hat when I played outside and I didn’t want to wear one. I remember being a real turd about it. In fact, I remember stomping my feet and declaring that I would stay inside if I had to wear a hat. And remember that day there was no hat around, and you wanted me to wear the blue headscarf instead? Keep in mind, when you’re ten years old wearing a headscarf is right up there with eating liver and onions. I was a real doo-doo head about it, though, and I feel really bad about it now. I know you were just worried about my ears, especially since you’d been through so much with mama and her hearing loss as a kid. I’m really sorry about the way I behaved. Really, really sorry. I wish I could take it all back. But I can’t. Instead I thought you’d like to know that I’ve been wearing my hat. It’s not very attractive, but it covers my ears, and I felt really good when I finished running today. I bought a hat for home, and a hat for my locker at work. I promise to keep using them, and again I’m really sorry about being a poot breath about the “cover the ears” thing. You didn’t deserve that. If it makes you feel any better, I have my own kid now, and she can be a real doo-doo head about things like hats and chores. You were right when you said “what goes around comes around”.

Well, I gotta go. I have a lot of stuff to get done in the next few days. I have to figure out that dressing thing, make a pie and some cranberry relish. I have a lot of stuff at work to get done, too. I’ll be thinking about you on Thanksgiving and again when we decorate for Christmas. I always think about your cedar tree with the blue lights and blue decorations. It makes me smile. Like the hat thing. Take care and let me know if they have cheesecake up there. I’m dying to know. Well, not dying as in dying… Oh, you know what I mean. I miss you more than you know.

Love,
Hula Girl