1. Thou shall have no new carts before all of them have acquired at least one bad wheel and a missing handle cover.
2. Thou shall not take images with the cell phone camera for the People of Wal-Mart website if it’s someone you work with, go to church with or are related to.
3. Do not take the name of the Lord in vain while using the self checkout lane. It’s not his fault the dadgum thing never works.
4. Remember the two sides of each aisle and keep them holy. Blocking the entire aisle with your cart while you talk at length to your cousin Reba can get you smacked in the backside by my….I mean, “a” cart.
5. Honor the space between you and the person checking out in front of you. Stop crowding please.
6. Thou shall not kill the shelf stocker for moving things around AGAIN. It’s not his fault.
7. Thou shall not commit blasphemy because only two checkout lanes are open.
8. Thou shall not steal more than one glance at the customer wearing a camo jacket, flannel pajama pants and house shoes in the meat department.
9. Thou shall not bare thy backside and show thy thong by bending over the dairy case in low riders.
10. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's spot in line…way ahead of you.
So sayeth the Hula Girl at Heart
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