Monday, January 14, 2008

Sealed For My Protection




Am I getting weaker or are they making packages tougher? I can’t seem to open anything these days without a jackhammer and a chainsaw. Everything comes signed, sealed and shrink wrapped for my protection. You can buy crystal meth easier than you can open a CD case. It’s ridiculous. I can’t imagine what it must be like for folks with arthritis. I know companies are trying to make their packages tamper proof and theft proof, but it seems to me it’s a little out of control.

Have you tried to peel the stickers off of produce lately? Those suckers are attached with supercallafragalistic expialadocious glue. I almost starved to death today before I got the label off of my mid-morning apple. An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but now I have to go to the dentist to see about that tooth I chipped trying to gnaw the label off the apple in desperation. I bought a new hairbrush recently, and it was hermitically sealed in one of those plastic cases that refused to pull apart no matter how much I flung it onto the floor and stomped on it. I finally had to cut it open with the largest pair of scissors I could find, which made me nervous, because you know what kind of luck I’ve had with scissors. That plastic doesn’t cut easily, so you risk at least two fingers when you try to cut it open. It’s a task that requires safety glasses and a hardhat. Medicine bottles have been a challenge for years, ever since the big Tylenol scare. My vitamin C comes in a bottle with a vacuum seal Hoover would be proud of. It also has that tight little cellophane wrapper around the lid that can only be removed by handing it to the neighbor’s Rottweiler to chew on. The worst though is CD cases. Forget about listening to a new CD on the way home from the music store. You’ll never get it open in the car. You have to wait until you get home to your toolbox. Once you remove the packaging, IF you can remove the packaging, you have to get rid of that sticky seal that runs along the top of the case. I have yet to find anything that removes that seal in just one or two pieces. And the music companies wonder why we are downloading most of our music these days. Hello! Make me a CD that’s easier to open and I’ll think about buying a few of them.

I realize a lot of this is for my own protection, but I liked it better in the old days when you could open a bottle of aspirin without a plunger and an engineering degree. And frankly, the odds of me hurting myself with the assortment of knives, scissors and power tools needed to pry open packages are a lot higher than the chances of someone slipping some poison into my Motrin. Of course, if I were stronger this would not be an issue, but buffing up requires buying more exercise equipment, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to open the box.

2 comments:

Jason said...

Oh, don't even get me started on toys!!! Christmas and birthdays turn into nightmares as parents struggle to cut, untwist, unscrew, detatch, rip, smash, and yank these blankity blank toys out of their packages, all the while struggling to keep a smile on their faces!

dlyn said...

This is all too true. Sometimes it is jut easier to make due with whatever old thing you've already got than to commit to having to open a new one. I have been craving that chainsaw thing for a couple years now though. Nice blog!