Most of us are taught from an early age to be good, to love our neighbor and to try our best to get along. And we do. Well, most of us do. There are some real doozies out there who muck up the works with their screwed up attitudes and bad choices. Those are the people my husband used to supervise when he was a parole officer. Most of the population, though, does not fall into that category. Now, we all have moments of failure when we lose our temper, say hurtful things or act like a three year old because we didn’t get our way, but usually we bump around this planet trying to love and be loved. I fall into that category, but I really do wonder sometimes if I’m trying hard enough.
I always joke that the Hula-gen’s have to go to church just about every time the doors open because we have so much to improve upon. It’s not that we’re slow learners. We’re just stubborn. Most days I really try to apply what I learn in church, but honestly, there are days when my thoughts are not very Christian like. That’s because there are people who drive me out of my ever lovin’ mind. They leave me asking certain questions, questions I’m going to pose to you, dear readers. I should probably be embarrassed to admit these things cross my mind, but I’m going to anyway because I suspect someone of you feel the same way, even if you don’t admit it. Also, I’m getting older and just don’t embarrass much anymore. I really think I could walk down Main Street wearing just a gunny sack and never bat an eye…..so in the interest of keeping it real…here we go. I call this game “Have You Ever?”
Have you ever:
1. Become acquainted with perfectly nice people that you just don’t like, and you can’t explain why you don’t like them? In fact, their mere presence just ticks you off?
2. Made up a lie to get away from the people mentioned in Question #1 because you don’t want to be rude to them but wished you just had the guts to tell them they annoy you?
3. Wanted to shout your thoughts at perfect strangers even though those thoughts were pretty ugly? Like, “For Pete’s sake, get a new hairdo. Mullets went out twenty years ago.” Or “Who the h@*% did your makeup, Marilyn Manson?”
4. Bumped into a very old friend you haven’t seen in years and neither one of you acknowledged the other because you were up to no good the last time you were together?
5. Asked someone how they were doing even though you didn’t give a diddly toot how they were feeling that day? Even after they told you how sick they were?
6. Run into a really old flame that dumped you, and you felt really good because you were fifty pounds lighter than the woman he married after he dumped you?
7. Gotten tired of being someone’s friend and you’re not sure why?
8. Wanted to punch someone who says stupid things all the time because he won’t pick up a newspaper or read a book? For example, “Why would I want to watch the news?” Pow! To the moon, Alice.
I could go on and on. I’m not proud to admit this, and I really feel bad when these thoughts cross my mind. I don’t want to be the person who has these thoughts. I want to be better than that. As much as it makes me wince, I think it’s important to be honest about it. Putting it in writing forces me to work on it. But tell me, is it just me? Have you ever……
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