Saturday, February 9, 2008

The Sky is Falling, The Sky is Falling

Brothers and sisters, if you are not right with the Lord you need to get right. The end is coming soon. Of this I am sure. How do I know? Yesterday I came home from work to find that my darling 15-year daughter, without any prompting by an adult, had cleaned out and organized one of my kitchen cabinets. I kid you not. If I'm lyin' I'm dyin'. See?

By the way, those Dove chocolates are NOT mine. I promise. I don't like dark chocolate. Not one tiny bit. Now, milk chocolate is an entirely different thing. I can't tell you why I have two bags of lentils, either. And can you tell we are mandarin orange freaks? Anyway, she cleaned, sorted, tossed and organized until it looked all neat and tidy. She even thought about alphabetizing the canned goods but knew that system wouldn't last with me, so she refrained from doing so. Whew! Thank goodness I dodged that bullet.
She says she was looking for something, couldn't find it because of all the clutter and started cleaning out of frustration, which is the only way I'm ever prompted to clean a cabinet, so I completely understand her reasoning. I just can't believe it. That's why I'm a little concerned that the rapture is near. Let's face it. It has to be one of these reasons:
A. The end is near as I just mentioned

B. She inherited her father's annoying OCD tidy gene and it is just now surfacing

C. She wants something and she's buttering me up

D. We are not complete failures as parents and she is maturing nicely
Well, she hasn't asked for anything yet and she is incredibly sloppy in other ways, so I don't think the answer is B or C. D doesn't seem plausible either since we screw up in our parental duties on a regular basis. It has to be A. So get down on your knees, brothers and sisters, and repent of your sins. Say some Hail Mary's, summon the Dahli Lama, rub Buddah's belly or do whatever you need to do to get ready. Ice crystals are forming at Satan's palace as we speak.
By the way, Teen Angel got a big hug and kiss over this one. I love that child. Have I mentioned that lately?


Mama Mia said...

I have a simple,lovely recipe for lentil soup!
I have my eye on those bullion have beef and chicken!! Now that's a stocked pantry.

oreneta said...

I can relate to how she felt...I too usually clean out of frustration more than anything else....

Anonymous said...

My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
Read My Inaugural Address
At =