Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Stuff You May Not Know About Me

The Girl Next Door tagged me for this one, and it’s a good thing. I’m a little low on post ideas this week. She bailed me out of a slump, so a round of margaritas for her, please. Here are the instructions:I certainly have enough odd stuff to choose from. The only dilemma is picking things I haven’t already revealed about myself. I think these are new to you.

1. The number of times I have personally vacuumed or mopped my floors in the last three years would fit on one hand. Hand to God, I do not know where the on/off button is on our vacuum cleaner. Our house isn’t dirty, mind you. It’s just that I have very little to do with the actually cleaning of it, and that’s because (a) I suck at it. Even when I try really hard, I don’t do a good job and (b) there is a lovely lady who comes to my home on Fridays and takes care of this for me. We are not wealthy, but good housecleaning is one of those things I’m willing to pay for, even if I have to eat macaroni and cheese every night to afford this privilege. It gives me more time with my family. Keep in mind, I do plenty of household chores, just not the sweeping, dusting and cleaning the stove and toilet kind. If you need someone to bake you an orange soufflé with cream sauce, I’m your girl. Just don’t ask me to do the dishes.

2. Bad table manners drive me insane. Ask Teen Angel. She’ll tell you how many times I’ve admonished her for sucking loudly the dregs of her drink through a straw. My biggest pet peeve is slurping. Papa T. made so much noise slurping up his vegetable soup at Bob Evans the other night, I wanted to smack him. It literally makes me come unglued. File this one under the category of little things that shouldn’t matter much but make me act irrationally.

3. The only color of eye shadow I can wear is brown. Apparently, I’ve become allergic to most pigment used in eye shadows. If I stay with brown, I’m okay. If I get stray into other colors, my eyelids swell up like jellyfish. I think it’s God’s way of punishing me for all the generous amounts of purple eye shadow I wore in the 80’s.

4. I have forgotten to pick up my child….twice in one day. Yes, twice….when she was thirteen. I forgot to pick her up at school on my way to aerobics and had to turn around and go back for her. By the time I got her I was running late for aerobics, so I took her with me. She patiently waited in another room, and after class I proceeded to leave without her, making the five minute trip home without remembering her until I hit the back door. That was the year I was NOT nominated for Mother of The Year.

5. I do not handle anesthesia well. I have a terrible time waking up from it. It makes me angry and takes away that filter that keeps me from saying things I shouldn’t. One time in the hospital recovery room, I leaned over the rails of my hospital bed and yelled “shut up” to the man howling in pain next to me. When I had my wisdom teeth cut out a couple of years ago, I asked for a Coke when I woke up. When the dentist said no, I yelled “fudge!” Only I didn’t say “fudge”. I used the mother of all swear words, and I’m normally not friendly with that word ‘cause my mama would slap me up the side of the head if she heard me say it. I had to apologize to him when I returned the next week for my follow-up visit. This same filter disappears when I drink adult beverages, which is one of many reasons why I do not drink to excess.

6. The one thing I do drink liberally is iced tea. I drink at least a quart of it each day. I usually buy a large unsweetened tea (one Sweet-N-Low) at lunchtime every day and sip on it all afternoon. My coworkers call this the “big tea”, and have been known to call me on a busy day to see if they need to pick up the “big tea” for me. I make more tea when I get home. I drink two or three sodas a week and this usually happens when I’m running errands. As a side note: I hate Pepsi and RC products. If I go through a drive-thru and order a Coke but am told all they have is Pepsi products, I politely say, “No thank you.”

7. Because of my former job in television news, I have been privileged to see all of the U.S. Presidents since Ronald Reagan, in person. No matter your party affiliation, it’s always cool to see the president, and I feel very lucky I’ve been able to do that.

Okay, there you have it. I’m supposed to tag 7 other people, but I’m not good at tagging, so consider yourself it if you’d like to play along. If not, that’s okay, too.


LuckyMe said...

Twice I forgot my SECOND GRADER had a half day and my fabulous neighbor took him in even though her kids were still in school (before cell phones.) I've also sent my kids to the bus stop on their day off in the middle of winter.

I love your anesthesia stories.

And yes, it would be cool to meet any US president.

Glad I found you!

Amy said...

Well, to be in a slump, you sure came up with a great post.

Note to self: When eating at Cracker Barrel with Hula, make sure that my elbows are off the table, and absolutely, under no circumstances, should I "slurp." ;) (Especially if she has just come out from under anesthesia.)

That is very cool that you have seen all the presidents since Reagan. Not very many people can say that.

God Bless,

karisma said...

Well you don't wanna eat at my table! My youngest likes to wipe his face on the table cloth, he learned it from his daddy. I kid you not! And he is the one who forgets to pick up the kids not me!

Mia said...

1. ditto...oh by the way I do NEED someone to bake a orange souffle' with cream sauce....HA!
4. we accidently left our first child at a yard sale!!
6. Coca-Cola baby!! Yessss!!

swampy said...

I left a comment somewhere.

Jason said...

My FIL chews with his mouth open and chomps and smacks and breathes really loudly through his nose as he chews.

My head spins. But very subtly so nobody notices.

allie said...

My personal favorite is #1. I don't have someone weekly, but coming home after the "cleaning fairy" has been at my house is right up there with carbs, my favorite food group!