Monday, June 1, 2009


Sifting through Sissy's belongings has taught me one thing. Don't leave stuff that you don't want people to see lying around the house. If you die suddenly, somone is going to see your stuff, ALL of your stuff. It's like a former volunteer firefighter said to me recently, just because you put something in the closet doesn't mean it's hidden. If your house burns down, your things are going to be sitting out in the wide open air for everyone to see.

As we weed through Sissy's possessions, we find little surprises here and there. Nothing horrible. Just things I'm sure she thought no one would ever know. She has no secrets anymore, and I'm uncomfortable with that. We should all be able to have a few secrets. The sorting and boxing up has to be done, though, so sometimes I open and turn over things with one eye closed.
Not all of the surprises are bad. One of the best surprises came a few days ago, when we discovered this photo. I'd never seen it before, and despite my Morticia Addams hairdo, this is one of my favorite pictures of me and Teen Angel. It was taken in 2000, just a few months before my nephew died. It was during a fundraiser for my brother in law who was awaiting a kidney and pancrease transplant at the time. He would receive that transplant about a month after Chance died. The memories of that fundraiser are bittersweet since Chance, Sissy and my brother in law are all dead now, but I love the love I feel from this picture. A nice surprise, indeed.


janjanmom said...

I've been there where you are. It is soooo not easy. It does pass though and you will never look at your own stuff the same way again!

Still praying for you-time does not heal all wounds but it does take the edge of a tiny bit.

karisma said...

That is a beautiful picture. Now me, I would have taken that as a message, that its okay for you to clear out her 'stuff'. Afterall, when it comes down to it, it is only stuff. Love is forever. Put that picture somewhere, where you can see it everyday and remember that love. Big hugs and smoochies xxxxxx

Trailboss said...

The picture is great, the words can be difficult. I have been thinking of you and your family lately.

dkuroiwa said...

You did the Morticia look very well, my dear...very well indeed!

As for the going through stuff...we had to do that with my daddy's stuff and really...there are somethings that a father has than his children should never have to see or find. Some of the things did lighten the mood a bit...much like Daddy did when he was alive. so that was good.
Going through someones stuff is hard...but...what treasures await you that you didn't even know about. the other stuff? what's done is done...her secrets may not be secret anymore but, they don't have to go any further.
Bless you all for doing such a hard job.

oreneta said...

You make a lovely Morticia, I always thought she was soooo very elegant! I also adore teen angles dress..sweet in every way.

Hang in there.

A New England Life said...

I think it's a beautiful picture! One to hold close to your heart. You look so serene and consumed with love.

I believe Teen Angel is about the same age as my Teenage girl so I know all about the little secrets. I can't help but wonder where all that love went between then (2000) and now. My daughter doesn't even want to touch me anymore. My neighbor says that's all part of the growing up process.