Friday, March 30, 2012

Feet Don't Fail me Now

What hurts worse than the left foot with the sore ligament? The right foot with the wasp sting. What hurts worse than the right foot with the wasp sting? The right hip where I got the steroid shot yesterday for the infected wasp sting. Great Gertie! I'm fallin' to pieces this week. The wasp sting started healing up fine earlier this week and then night before last it woke me up with pain and intense itching. As in I was afraid I was going to wake up Hubby with all my scratching. For a few short minutes I was afraid I'd contracted fleas. By mid morning the sting site was feverish with this big red ring, and it really hurt. I said, "Self, that doesn't look right." So I showed it to a coworker, and she said, "That doesn't look right." Then I got a second opinion from another coworker who said, "THAT doesn't look right." And "You're not going to get any calls for foot modeling jobs anytime soon." And as my buddy Randall says, he ain't wrong about that. After having numerous medical professionals look at my lower extremities in the past two and a half weeks, I've decided I need better foot maintenance in the winter. Although, my tootsies may be a hopeless cause thanks to all of the time I spend walking around barefoot and running on hard surfaces. I looked at my feet in the doctor's office yesterday afternoon and figured I should call Mama and apologize for all those times when I was a kid and I made fun of her middle aged toes and heels.

After an hour and a half at the walk-in clinic, where I tried desperately not to touch anything because flu season is at its peak around here right now, I came away with the shot and an antibiotic. Yay, antibiotic! Let the constipation begin. So, while it's not really a big deal, this whole foot thing has officially become ANNOYING. And at this point I'm hoping I don't catch anything from milling around with sick people in that office. I was so paranoid about germs, my hands were chapped when I left from all of the soap and sanitizer I used while I was there. I was a real Howard Hughes. Minus the urine soaked loin cloth and untamed hair.

I can't imagine having serious medical issues. I just thank my lucky stars that I'm generally healthy as a horse, whatever that means. Papa T. always says you don't have anything if you don't have your health, and as my buddy Randall says, he ain't wrong about that. On the upside yesterday, their scales were three pounds lighter than mine at home, and since I'm guessing my clothes and shoes weighed a good ten pounds, I figure I'm more fit than I thought. What? Your clothes don't weigh ten pounds? AND my blood pressure was 112 over 52. I got an "A" in blood pressure yesterday, which appeals to my competitive nature. I was all WINNING. Truthfully, I spend so much time being frustrated over my slow running times that consistently good blood pressure readings are always a nice reminder of the real benefit of that exercise when my family history has more stroke and heart attack than you can count. Plus, WINNING. Can I get a plastic trophy for that? Have I mentioned I got all A's and only two B's in college? Yes, I am THAT annoying.

So, I'm hoping this whole foot thing is much better by tomorrow. I have an adult Easter egg hunt to take part in, and there are some cool prizes up for grabs. It will be the first time I've run around on the sore ligament, and I really need both feet. It's sure to be a competitive crowd, and hello! There's an "A" to be earned in egg hunting.


Linda said...

You are simply too funny! I have this marvelous mental picture of you hobbling around looking for eggs tomorrow...sorry you are having so much trouble - I hear you - I have had a series of ailments, all doing the domino my mom is fond of telling me...old age ain't for sissies!

oreneta said...

Goodness gracious....this is quite the epic footathon!

Jan n Jer said...

It's amazing what we take for granted (like our feet) until something happens to them. Hope the steroid shot kicks in real fast! Good luck on the Easter egg hunt!

Sharon said...

At least you have a sense of humor through it all! My goodness if it isn't one thing it's another. Hopefully everything has healed up by now!

Be glad you don't have any health problems. I have to go for an MRI because something is wrong with my back. I can't sit very long at all without pain in my back, hip, and rear. You have no idea how terrified I am of what they'll have to do to fix it. After all these years of being the one without any major issues it looks like it's my turn : (